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Are you lonely? Looking for companionship? Trying to find the right person to fit that hole? Well, maybe Charlie Kelly is just the man for you.

Posted: Jun 30, BE.

Dating profile : I enjoy long walks on the beach, playing in the rain, performing satanic rituals, and reading romantic novels. I hope you enjoy! Originally posted by misfitsandmayhem. I like riding on my motorbike, which has a sidecar for others to ride in too. I can look intimidating, so usually they back off quickly. Someone like me would also be good, a bit more reserved and quiet.

I have seen a lot of profiles. I have seen a lot of bad profiles. I have seen a few good profiles. Then I saw this profile. This is only a portion of the profile – but the best portion methinks. Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books?

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Yep, glue-sniffing, illiterate Charlie, a man who is at once the most depraved member of the gang and the most adorable. His high-pitched voice, consistent uniform of Vans and a green jacket, and inadvisable penchant for singing tend to elevate basically any scene. Some good Mac moments here, too as he gets high on poppers and insists on wearing a wedding dress , but Charlie is of course the star here: He reveals himself as a coward by, well, faking his death in the first place but also by jumping out of the car as it crashes into the wall, both great gags in their own right.

Plus, the way his teeth just slip out of his gums has given us all nightmares ever since. That is, until Ernesto tells him off for being insensitive. Ridiculous song? Great voice? Charlie is a lot of things, but a genius is maybe … not one of them. When all of this is revealed, Charlie seems genuinely surprised. Just get a job? Charlie loves cats, despite being perpetually harassed by them, as he insists on eating cat food and gluing cat hair to his body.

In this episode, he goes to hang out with Dee after Mac moves in with him and makes things too clean. Dee has a cat stuck in her wall and Charlie breaks out that perfectly high-pitched voice to help her out with it, revealing himself as not just a cat enthusiast but an expert.

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Charlie Kelley’s Online Dating Profile


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